In honor of Oscar night, here's the underappreciated BATTLESHIP, which asks the question, is Peter Berg the new Howard Hawks? Unlike similar blockbuster directors, he's also an actor, writer and military historian, so there's a sense of real grassroots cocksureness and oomph, stuff lacking in the more "human story"-driven guys like Ron Howard, and a good understanding of pacing and narrative lacking in Michael Bay. And being a classic film fan, I don't mind navy recruitment ads stretched to Hasbro length. I dig the way the original game is slyly incorporated into the story is clever without being trite or predictable, the use of NOAA to track water displacement for the Battleship quadrants in the original game? Genius.
Of course for most critics, this was a dog before it hatched - imagine, they crowed, a movie about a board game! What on earth is next, Monopoly (starring Sean Connery as Mr. Monopoly, and Jonah Hill as 'Thimble'?) or maybe Scrabble (starring Chris Pratt as 'Triple Word'?) With their clever puns already in mind for their review, they wouldn't have known a gem if Berg shoved it down their throats. Some critics stuck up for it, and now it's on FX a lot, in the exact right spot for it, a Saturday afternoon in winter. In the words of Hawks, a movie should have a few good scenes and no bad ones. And BATTLESHIP has those, plus propulsion, coherence, stirring military might, Liam Neeson, and a guy with robot legs, for real. And since you February is so (usually) dark and cold, beautiful Hawaiian scenery. And now on FX, they have this thing "Movie Download" where two hosts link up clips from making-of extras and drop interesting facts between commercials, kind of like folding in DVD extras every third or fourth chapter. A movie like BATTLESHIP is perfect for that approach, commercials and context boost its 'America strong'-ness, giving us a look at he relaxed keyed up vibe of Berg's set, the vast complicated water action (always difficult but pulled off with aplomb) and minimal green screen, people having a good time and razzing Berg's directorial style (which means they like him), rather than cautiously praising someone like Michael Bay's (which means they don't); so BAM! Ten reasons.
1. Taylor Kitsch
I'm a big fan of this gorgeous young buck, he's everything Tom Cruise thought he was 30 years ago, which is why I always hated Cruise. Kitsch can play a headstrong narcissistic prick all he wants, he's not fooling us, whereas Tom Cruise only thought he was. His competence seemed more like butch posturing or needling short guy overcompensation, yelling in people's faces and repeating phrases over and over like he's not standing on a box or a higher step when he talks them. Following a similar arc to Cruise's, Kitsch also needs to get humble; he blows a big preliminary soccer game through hubris, etc. That he's still third in command of the John Paul Jones is indication he's still pretty badass, leaving us to realize that no one has a harder time passing the ball in hoops then the guy who's best at 3 pointers; terrible athletes like myself learn to be humble much earlier. Cruise made even other peoples' suffering all about him, and when you demand a fanfare for your gaining humility then you already lost it). Unlike Cruise, Kitsch makes the actors around him look good too. He really is a leader, he doesn't need to yell at people (or the mirror) to convince himself.
Plus, there's that name. Oh my god, it's probably the best Nouveau White Trash name in the world, except maybe for the actress who plays his girlfriend here, Brooklyn Decker.
2. The Navy
Director Berg's the son of a Navy man, and it shows with a contagious respect love and awe for real vessels like the John Paul Jones and the Missouri. Their bulky fit bodies hustling in and out tight spaces with professional grace, the large amounts of real Naval personnel in the cast is a brilliant choice and clearly inspires the actors; the real ships in use make it maybe the most vivid Naval story since maybe Dmytryk's CAINE MUTINY. And if you can't feel a stirring in your blood when the WW2 Naval vets come strutting in to AC/DC--then yd you're a goddamned Commie spy (THE AMERICANS, on FX)
3. Rihanna
As a weapons expert, in a raft, manning mounted machine gun like she fucking owns it, bobbing up and down in the waves, ready for whatever. Damn right.
4. Dirt Bag Aliens:
Memories of past wars function great here as contrast with the war against the aliens (as wits and technology evolve through necessity and inspiration, to become evenly matched, ala America mobilizing after Pearl Harbor (the Japanese and Germans always envied our GI's intuition and free-thinking, compared to their own rigid 'no one makes a move without an order from Hitler' kind of rigidity). The aliens' cool gadgets fit their Viking dirty bag skate punk/biker aesthetic, like the combination bowling pall/tire chain; the way they focus in on perceived threats and weapons but don't really hassle unarmed beings (like the kid playing softball). In fact, they're probably a bit like how the Germans went into Poland or the Cavalry into the Black Mountains, in a way, as one guy says "this time they're Columbus, we're the Indians" by which to say their tech is superior to ours so we're going down unless we learn some new tricks, fast. But I love that they're not so superior we can't even touch them, making resistance as futile as it is in War of the Worlds. They have exploitable weaknesses and most telling, hipster dirt bag skater beards that are like sea urchin spikes, gecko eyes (vaguely reptilian) and slimy hands. But we've got home court advantage, combination of hastily remembered Sun Tzu sayings, and the best of eastern and western military thought fused together on the sly.
5. Absence of Bad Dialogue (or instantly dated attempts at sass)
A film like this is something I give three strikes before I turn off (life's too short). For example, I've never seen a TRANSFORMERS all the way through (until the last one) because 1. sassy robot, 2. stuck-in-1981 misogynistic objectification and 3. there's no way that oily little pisher Shia LaBoeuf deserves Megan Fox. Erich is GONE. You get the picture? But BATTLESHIP has not one single strike against it. There's no sassy robot or clumsy oaf, no blithering CPO or bullying captain, or snarky adenoidal teen. Everyone's cool, competent, and good at teamwork, as Hawks would say, they
re professional men doing a professional job, even the women. There are no Tom Cruise style narcissistic hostility/stalker shit, no sing-a-longs in the cafeteria or objectifying sex scenes against a Trans-Am or fireworks, no shower melt-downs or sulky driving away from the funeral on your motorcycle. The closest thing to a ditherer is the guy up at right--the Robert Wuhl of the team--but he just has trouble getting to the point, whereas he's still an invaluable addition to the team (recognizing the alien helmet's visor as the sort of thing an alien gecko would wear, etc.) The closest thing to a problem is actually Kitsch's character, which is a fascinating touch. Hawks characters are often similar, needing to overcome character flaws ("who was the girl, Steve?") but still interesting, cool people.
A real life Iraq war ver/amputee, he's not a great actor but that works for the character; his legs fits in as a kind of hybrid with the mechanized suit-wearing aliens + his interesting rapport with his physical therapist (and Admiral Neeson's daughter) and Kitsch's girlfriend, Brooklyn Decker' and his lack of experience as an actor ensures he's not stereotypically drama-class 'heroic' or 'dejected'. He doesn't reach the heart-wrenchingly beautiful depth of --- in THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES, but he still makes his amateur styles work to convey a real courage in the face of the unknown. In other words, he's a truly fearless and valuable guy for a pic like this.
7. Japanese-American relations.
There's note made that the USS Missouri, the boat reactivated for the climactic battle was where the Japanese signed the surrender agreement at the end of WW2. And so naturally there's a Japanese captain (Tadanobu Asano) whose ship is, like Kitsch's, wiped out by the aliens, and they work together to bring the Missouri out of retirement for one last ride - this after fighting on the soccer field the day before. For any WW2 buff, these wounds are still fresh and insight into the highly competitive nature of our individual national identities. (Contrast, say, Spielberg's joke toward the end of LOST WORLD with the fleeing Japanese salarymen.)
8. Beautiful Hawaiian scenery
Berg uses minimum green screen, so there's all sorts of great ocean lighting and actors really bobbing around in real ocean makes all the difference. Plus the land scenes, drenched in beautiful greenery and blazing blue skies, chills one out. Let's face it, we don't watch BATTLESHIP for art or thought, we watch it to chill out on a lazy weekend. We don't want a lot of feel bad eco-moralizing (ala GODZILLA) or Chicken Little overacting (TRANSFORMERS) and product placement, dated slang douche chills (Will Smith), We want just enough action to keep us from dozing off and enough strikingly photographed scenery to chill us out without us even knowing (i.e. the XENA effect).
9. Color/Gender Blind Casting
Great race/gender blindness rare in films but keenly observed and real here (one of my favorite new faces, Rami Malek is even in it). Hawaiian baller John Tui is 'the Beast', Kitsch's right hand man and a big ass motherfucker but there's no dumb jokes about him eating a lot or whatever. The black guys don't have to deliver scenes of ogling girls and blasting rap music and goldbricking, etc. They are professionals, in a script that's good enough to not have to rely on all those tedious mixes of nervous blankness (the nonthreatening black friend with no personality), or pimp strut racism. Same with gender, Rihanna's a babe but there's no mention of it. She's a professional too; physical therapist Brooklyn is respected by her patient Gadson as equals, etc.
10. Creedence!
Steve Jablonsky's unobstrusive score is leagues away from John Williams-style pomp and micro-management and the AC/DC is the perfect touch. Creedence Clearwater Revival? "I ain't no military son"? That's great and apt and so American that the Navy would rock out to it. Compare it to that hollowed out cocaine Moroder and Loggins synth crap from TOP GUN (or the group sing-a-long "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'") and shudder with relief.
Right seeing it on FX this past Sunday I watched a TIVO-ed UNDER SIEGE to keep the Navy theme afloat. If that's not a recommendation I don't know what is.
Hawksian, baby. Hawksian.